The year began with big dreams
The daring kind of dreams I had for myself.
But the funny thing is that I now can’t remember 95% of those.
Do you know why?
Because it doesn’t matter anymore.
And coming from a trainer, entrepreneur, or whatever it is I call myself,
That would trash everything you know about me.
But there’s nothing I want to change about that.
Because I don’t know for sure how long I can hold on to these thoughts.
Or these feelings I now feel.
All that I know right now is that since September, 20th 2023, at 9 AM,
My life literally took a turn.
And since then, I have had to ask myself what I really want to see in the next minutes of life.
I have done a lot of journaling since then.
Handwritten of course.
But even those that saw the laptop pages never made it online.
I’m yet to be able to respond to that.
But have I been working?
Have I been training?
Have I been team-building?
Have I been empowering my clients on self-belief?
Have I been reproving procrastination and calling it the thief of time?
I live a maximum of 1 hour at a time.
No, I don’t make long-term plans.
Not even with family.
At least not in my full knowledge because,
‘Hey, if I can do it right now, why wait?’
After a team-building event at Kwale County in the Coast of Kenya last week,
Realizing that I had just left the hospital to attend the event,
Where of course I gave it my all, making friends, training the folks and having fun,
I called the main partners and terminated my contracts in preparation for a brand new life.
A life I have no idea how it will turn out.
I let my family know that I would proceed with the extraction of the tumour,
And made new promises not to commit to seeing anyone, nor work with anyone.
I set them free. Peacefully.
It was harsh.
But clients and partners understood. Phew!
I handed over and gave my blessings especially to those I have been training.
I’m actually glad I had been training and mentoring a battalion on the activities.
And so for once in a million days,
I celebrate the festive seasons free. And at peace.
I’m so super relaxed that even as I type this journal entry, I’m literally smiling.
There’s not a single assignment on my desk that beckons for my attention. Not even one.
Now, if that is not how to celebrate the New Year,
Which by the way today happens to be the second day of my 44th year,
I don’t know any other way to do it. I could get used to this.
‘If it can be done today, right now, why wait?’
Are there things I desire to do in my new year?
Desire is such a big word if you ask me.
But from where I sit,
On the floor of my sitting room, that is,
I love the systems I have created for myself. And for those around me.
To live right now. Do what needs to be done right now. And let everything else roll on.
Of course, there’s a plan to move to Canada in 2024, for a fellowship maybe.
And in the process attend one of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s famous retreats.
Meaning I have to work on my passport. Then raise funds.
But even then I choose to let the process flow effortlessly.
I choose not to be offended. I’m at peace.
And that is all I ask as the year 2023 comes to an end.