Short Stories

To Strong Knees and Being Hairlessly Beautiful!

So here is my knee story, that’s a weird way of starting but hey, shall we?

Earlier today as I cleaned the dishes I felt really weak in the knees. Though I had a quick morning walk in the unexpected morning showers in the name of looking for the ideal bread, there wasn’t really any big reason why my knees were behaving badly.

Honestly, being on medication shouldn’t reduce the knee strength to that level, should it?

So I showered and was about to dry myself then asked, “Lakini mbona sijanyoa kichwa for 7 days?”  

Loosely, why exactly haven’t I had a shave for over 7 days?

And just like that, I grabbed a new shaver, that Super Max 3 and descended on my unpinchable hair.

Aside: There was a class attendance mantra in my formative years that read “If the kink of the hair could be pinched between the thumb and Peter-pointer, it had to fall.” Some colonial stuff I bet. It kept little kids ‘neat’ on the head.

Get it?

But this time I didn’t need to pinch it to shave it.

Its very presence was outright irksome after all.

With every stroke of the soaped surface, the stubs went.

Things new and clean blades can do, Wueeh! #RightToolThings

Anyway, moving on!

I’m halfway through the shave and from nowhere I begin to feel, literally feel my knees getting stronger.

No, I’m not seated.

I’m standing.

Literally standing right before the hand wash sink with the new blade in my right hand, and my soaped left hand tracing the path. I just had a cold shower after all. And my 5-foot height is no debate to discuss before a half-length mirror. So, standing it is.

And yes, I know I should have been dressing up bearing the weather. I know.

But then my entire system shrieks for this shave.

So who am I to say no?

The soap?

Oh, there’s some hand wash that seems to make the blade slide. But I apply that tiny natural soap they gave me at the Aga Khan hospital during my admission two weeks ago. I made sure to keep a piece. A souvenir to self I suppose.

It smells rich.

It reads ‘Natural

Who am I to say no to these little sweet things?

So between rinsing the blade in the mix of hand wash and water, and rubbing the natural soap on the scalp of my head, I shave.

The blade obeys!

And in checks another stroke of knee strength.

Be-amazing!

Flexibility Vs Beauty?

Now, before we overindulge in the shaving game, there’s a Swahili saying that insists the beauty of a woman is in her hair.

I’m here to refute that claim before the Council of Elders.

Because what really is beauty when the knees are weak and cannot support the body?

No, if you actually look at it critically.

Doesn’t the whole story line up with the million petticoats English Women were forced to wear in the name of beauty?

Where the heck is flexibility in the beauty equation?

Come on people!

Is the cost of beauty this rigid?

To Strong Knees & Hairless Beauty!

I’ll sip coconut water to that! 🥥

In my opinion, which I bet you are already invested in bearing my staunch African culture, strong knees are worth every stroke of the shave.

Especially if one brings about the other.

I’ll take a clean-shaven head. Any day!

To hell with wobbly legs!

I need to move.

I need to serve.

I need to stay physically active.

And no length of hair or cultural fetish will deter me from that.

Let my hair go!

It’s worth the price!

So here we are.

I have warmed my meal and eaten.

I’m heading to the computer desk to type a research.

My head is clear. In and out. I can literally hear myself thinking.

I can now break down complex content into sumptuous smoothies.

Surely, is the hair on my head really worth it?

No!

So tell me, dear African Culturalists.

Oh, ye who praise lioness manes on women’s heads in the name of a turn-on.

Is a person’s worth limited to such?

Seriously?

Here’s my current definition of beauty.

‘It must keep me active’ 💃

Not wobbly.

Not sexy.

But active!

I refuse to be held down when I surely can do something about it.

So if that beauty holds me back from physical activity, to hell with it!

I’m beautiful hairless.

And hairlessly beautiful!

And that’s all that matters.

On that note

I wonder what Samson, who lost his hair to Delilah’s lies would feel about this piece.

#HairlessMe #HappyMe #StrongerMe

Now, for a scientific challenge.

Dear Neurologists,

And all the other scientists who dare to bother their brain cells for a living; What’s the link between the shaving of the head and the return of my knee strength?

I beg to care.

And while you are at it,

Compare notes with Culturalists who swear by the strands of hair for beauty. I’m keen to follow up on the debate.

And I bet other people do too. It’s about time we cleared up these hairy things!

A hairy hairless day ahead?

But again, #NoPressure! #HaveNoFear

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