Short Stories

The Protest

My website went all in protest today.

Well, let’s simply say from Friday last week. This morning I looked at the ‘We’ll be back soon and new’ promise it flaunted after loading and literally saw it sneer at me. I mean the Nigerian Movies’ prolonged sneers.

I wonder who has been watching Naija movies on my laptop.

The taunt extends every minute that follows. Call me nuts, but I can hear it even as I type this apology on Notepad!

“Maybe you should just leave me on fireworks. It’s going to be New Year soon.”

Goodness! It’s only the 25th of February.

“I’m going to lay here and gather dust just like your talent.”

Yeah. Yeah. I know. A talent unused is bound to expire. But my writing pad is a witness of my daily scribbling. Doesn’t that count for writing?

“Your A4 exercise book you mean? What about me, your website, what do you take me for?”

I must have assumed that after the ‘We’ll be back soon and new’ promise will understand that renovation includes time away.

“But I miss you. Please don’t leave me on ‘coming soon’ especially if you of all people won’t come back to dust me off, tear the cobwebs and clean off the mould. You may have a hundred people feeding you, but you are all I have. Don’t starve me, a piece a day is all I ask.”

This protest shatters my heart. 💔

“Honestly, guys around the world miss you too!”

Ouch! I didn’t even think about that. Sorry readers. I have failed you and my website too. Deeply.

“I’m going to assume you are in deep meditation. you have entered your level and are preparing that story you have been telling everyone you want to write. At least write it and leave it on draft. I promise I will tell Google Robots we are pregnant.”

At this rate, I may as well journal my meditation journey. Or the attempt of it that is. It’s somewhat rosy, but I’m yet to levitate.🧘‍♂️

“You are my happiness. Only you can bring visitors home. The stories you give me draw many to me. I’m only a record player and I promise to do that until your banks burst. But you have to make me content. At least show me off before March 20, 2023, and let me merry with the rest of the world!”

Phew! I’m glad the protest is over. I wish I could drown that with a cup of coffee. Care to buy me one?

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