“I wouldn’t be caught dead touching sanitary pads. That’s a woman’s world. It’s a woman’s business!”
Dickie whispered to Jim at the supermarket.
Jim had been vehemently rummaging through packs of pads for over 45 minutes making the female promoters at Naivas Supermarket, Mwembe Tayari branch a little curious. He studied various packs of pads, two or three at a time as if preparing for the end-year exam.
“But why do they make them in various lengths, thicknesses and flavours?” He thought aloud.
“Ask her!” Dickie retorted pinkie-pointing at one of the female promoters.
She smiled. Whether out of appreciation or disgust for Dickie’s way of thinking, it was difficult to tell.
“Don’t you wanna know?”
“Hell to the no! They are scary. And a taboo for men to touch!” Dickie spilt.
The Real Taboo
I shared this story with some male friends a week ago and to my surprise, 7 out of 10 swore they would never buy sanitary pads. Not even for a bleeding little sister. Because to them, pads are taboo, and they fear being seen near such.
But do you know what the real taboo is?
The absence of growth!A person who feels the fear but refuses to walk into it is the greatest taboo. For they can only serve themselves, family, friends and clients with mediocrity. Click To Tweet
Do The Math
You only have two choices when your heart urges you to venture in a certain direction, like Jim’s curiosity about pads.
The first is to face the fear of whatever Dickie will say when he finds you digging through shelves of sanitary pads in the supermarket.
And the second is to give in to the fear and swear along with the Dickies of this world, “It’s a taboo!” And remain in the dark.
That leads us to ‘My_Darling’s Formula for Growth.
CURIOSITY (SUBTRACT) FEAR = GROWTH
More specifically, the ‘What If’ kind of fear.
Math lesson complete!
So never allow fear to dampen your curiosity. You risk missing out on a business opportunity hidden between the wings.
But when you face the fear of ‘what if Dickie sees me playing with pads’ as in Jim’s case, you begin to unravel the things your heart got you curious about. You also see the folly in the so-called taboo.
Robin Sharma in ‘The Mastery Manual’ points out, “On the other side of fear lives growth.” Therefore,
Stop at the showroom and ask to feel the leather seats of the most expensive car. The one whose marked price gives you goosebumps!
Walk into that posh beach hotel, sit, and buy a bottle of water. Then enjoy that ambience seemingly reserved for the super-rich. Even though your salary threatens to expose you.
Email your secret role model and let nature take over. Do it now. The worst they can do after all is to ignore you. But you won’t die from that. If it’s of any consolation, I have written tens of those and haven’t received responses from over half of them.
And I’m still breathing!
Signs of Growth
Sure you won’t die, but a mine full of precious gems will explode within you. Then you will begin to feel and act suspiciously different. These feelings and actions are signs of growth.
1. Begin social distancing from taboo-trapped fellows
You feel put off by their mediocre conversations and wonder how you ever stomached such. You are not sick, that’s a sign of growth!
It happens because not everyone is suitable for your new level of life. So, shed that skin and slide forth!
2. Begin asking yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?”
This happens when you catch yourself doing some things you once thought were fun. It’s a sign you have outgrown your old way of thinking.
Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold you back anymore!
3. Begin loving truly and caring deeply for those around you
This happens because you now understand they are not objects of disgust. But they are people you can turn to friends, employees, customers and who knows, even family!
4. Rephrase and upgrade your values
The dead one-word list of values feels stale and you strive to upgrade them to more intimate and personal phrases. Because after all your values aren’t for the world to read and clap about. They are your guide while creating relationships. Personal and professional.
So you swap that dead ‘Courageous’ to ‘Having fun doing it!’ Or that ‘Accountability’ you can’t explain, to “Learning daily and sharing deeply”. Because more often than not that one word doesn’t hold water.
Because you faced your fears and investigated the opportunity deeper.
You then realize there is a way to venture into the activity without raising that humongous capital. The third point above makes ways where there seems to be no way. But that’s a testimony for another day.
Fear holds us back from saying ‘Yes’ to bursting the curious bubble and discovering the hidden path to something we desire. To growth!
I found these five signs of growth a little silly at first. You probably do too. But then I challenged myself to stay curious and face my fears. Trust me I have gone through a lot of friend-shedding in the recent past. Because even though curiosity is said to have killed the cat, like Jim enduring Dickie’s ridicule, satisfaction brings it back to life. Jim now knows better. The truth is, curiosity breeds intelligence. And intelligence breeds growth! It’s a 9-lives thing. #facethefear #staycurious and have a #MagicalMonday!